Hasty decisions

28 April 2006
So, two posts ago I wrote that 'I hate my life' and after a week or so to think about it, I wrote the post in haste. No life is worth hating, and while I was having a bad night, by no means should those feelings determine the state of my life. I am very fortunate to be in a good place. One thing I must realize before jumping to any sort of conclusion is that things change, people change, people grow apart, realtionships will end and people will find new jobs and move away. All those things and more are facts of life and no matter how much you don't want them to happen they will and you will have to adapt/change with them. The better you handle the changes and the idea that it does happen is the real challenge. No matter how much my life might be changing my family and good friends will always be there - at least I hope so cause I know that I will always be there for them.

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Gay Cowboy

20 April 2006
That phrase, 'Gay Cowboy', is the biggest oxymoron. So I just got done watching Brokeback Mountain, which by the way took two days cause I dozed off a bit at the end the night before. It was a bit boring and was like a slow trot (ha, much like riding a horse-yeeha). The reason that this movie got so much pub. is that Heath Ledger stuck it up the ass of Jake Gyllenhaal. Not a great movie-average story really with a big twist. And if you want to see Jake and Heath go at it, rather graphically, then rent it.

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I hate my life

19 April 2006
Enough said. (At least for today.)

You see I just needed someone to talk to, but everyone was busy or didn't need to be bothered with my stupid troubles. So I am talking to my blog. I am not happy with things right now and I really don't know why. I mean I am going to Europe in five weeks, I have a job, the weather is nice, i have lost some weight and well I do have some good friends. But while these things are good, there is so much more that is not. Lately I have been examining where my life is going and what do I really want to be doing with it. In a search for a new job I have come to the conclusion that there is no job I want to do. But really I just don't know what I want and am unable to commit to something. There are issues in the family and in my personal life, so everything combines to make me think, I hate my life.

-Note: And on top of it all I am watching stupid television programs. UGH.

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Life

13 April 2006
It is funny how things work out, or don't, or don't go as planned, or right - just happen. Do you ever really know what your next step in life is supposed to be or for that matter how do you decide?

When I stayed in Lawrence I said it was for a reason and even though that reason has failed to reveal itself I still have faith that that was the case. Well right now, I am looking for a reason to stay or go and if go, where?

Today I was talking to someone about things and well I was saying that it is so great that for the first time in my life I have no obligations. I am not tied to school, to my family, to a boyfriend (husband, family) etc. The options are endless and well one way or another I must find a way to seize it.

But in order to do that I must get my life in order, plan my impending trip to Europe (going May 27!!!) and start to look at all the opportunities that exist for me - all the while taking advantage of the opportunity and time I have here in Lawrence.

No one ever has all the answers, but that is what keeps us guessing!!!

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March Madness is over...April showers have arrived

04 April 2006
Well, Meagan has left, Florida is the National Champion and it is raining outside. TERRIFIC-NOT.

March Madness ended with a thud and a not so shining moment, what a boring game. Meagan's visit ended with a little Harry Met Sally and some dancing.

It was fun to have an old friend in town, relieve some sorority memories, talk about sex, eat a lot, drink not as much as planned and but most importantly, have alot of fun times!!! Can't wait til the next reunion.

Now that April has begun, things will move quickly and time will go by before we know it it will be summer. Until then we will have to endure some showers.

By the way: updated the Thought of the Month.

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